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My friend has had me in stitches from the minute we sat down, I’ve just eaten some perfectly cooked scallops with blood orange and endive and a man is playing piano. I’m many things, but there’s not a whiff of ennui about my person. The man next to me however is bored and wants to know if I am too.

 34 is packed, everyone is shimmering in flattering light and the total value of designer handbags in the room is very high. This is a restaurant group that knows how to deal with the well-heeled and charges them for the privilege. However, as in Scott’s you can’t fault the food and the service is exemplary.

Give 34 a whirl if you are feeling flamboyant and in need of some fantastic people watching. One thing I feel honour-bound to warn you of in advance: the room, as Mr Bored pointed out, is a rectangle. No champagne balconies, no sound proof booths, just a plain old rectangle. As long as you can cope with that, you’ll probably have a ball.

@ailana

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